Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Marriage advice

This is a totally random post, but I have found myself pondering about this particular thing a lot lately.

Before I got married, I had a lot of showers, like 8.

At every one of those showers advice was given, some good, some strange, some inappropriate...you know what I am saying, right?

At every single one of my showers, at least 1 person (usually more) would give the advice...


Okay, whatever.

Um...I SO DO NOT agree with this advice.

In the 90's, there was this really popular book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" I even got a couple of copies as wedding gifts, I'm pretty sure this is where the advice came from.

For the record, I HATE that book. It didn't 'help' me, in fact, according to that book, I am a man and Aaron is a woman.

Now, whenever I am at a bridal shower and I am asked to give advice, this is what I say or write,

It is okay to go to bed mad. Sometimes, you need 8 hours or so to cool off. Sometimes you need 8 hours or so to clear your head. Sometimes you need 8 hours or so to just not deal with him. Sometimes you need 8 hours or so to realize that you are arguing about something STUPID. So, go to sleep and wake up with a clear head and perspective on the previous night. You may not even remember what you were arguing about, but either way, you will have a good night's sleep, which is much more important than winning an argument.

I remember a fifth Sunday meeting about four years ago, our Stake Patriarch and his wife were talking to us about marriage. He said, "...I think it is okay to go to bed mad, you may just need a good night's rest." I leaned over to Aaron and said, "I'm so glad he said that!"

I make it sound like Aaron and I argue a lot.

We actually rarely argue,

The other advice I give?


Aaron and I still hold hands. When we are together, we are holding hands, unless we are holding kidlet hands. I love this about us.

1. A good marriage
2. A good nights sleep
3. Holding hands


Ray Ball Fam said...

I agree! It's definitely a per couple thing. Some people may be ok with staying up & can get somewhere. We have learned to let it go, and it usually doesn't matter the next day ...or we are much more reasonable when were not so crabby & tired! Great post!

Steph said...

good advice! You sound like you have been married quite a while. Where did all the time go?

Corinne said...

Yeah. It took me a few years of marriage to realize that if it's after 8pm, there will be no more working it out with my early-to-bed husband. I have to let it go and deal with it in the morning if necessary. Glad I figured that out (it was a painful process, as I'm sure you can imagine)